Un-Afraid
One of the scariest things just happened to me and everything I thought I knew about being unafraid went out the window. I literally just spoke to God about being afraid of doing my practical driving test tomorrow and He reminded me that His Perfect Love casts out all fear ❤ If He lives on the inside of me as Perfect Love, He can’t co-exist with fear because He drives fear out.
But this all went out the window the moment I was faced with a life-threatening situation...
I got on the train from Colchester back to London after a late study session. The train was really taking its time so I decided to get off and get on the next one. As soon as I got off the train left the platform! I wasn’t even bothered because it was a train I didn’t like anyway proper old and crusty lol. I thought the next train coming will probably be my cup of tea and I thought maybe that’s why God allowed me to get off the train.
To my utter shock and disappointment the train that came was exactly the same as the one I got off and probably even crustier. I got on and chose a seat waiting for the train to take off. From the other end of the train carriage a boy walked towards me with his hood up and black gloves on. My chest was beating I just finished studying about anxiety so this didn’t even help my case. This boy was talking about how he can’t do what he needs to do because there’s bare cameras around but he still seemed adamant to get something done. I nicely carried myself to the far end of the train where I was able to see another person, this train was like ghost town even an inspector was nowhere to be found so finding this man was everything to me at that moment. I sat down with a sigh of relief still on edge and my worst nightmare became a reality when the boy followed me all the way to the end of the carriage. I could see him through the carriage door window. I thought yeah this is it! I started questioning if I will even make it to the end of 2017 and all sorts of thoughts came rushing in! I picked up the phone and called my mum crying and shaking and just like any other African parent the first thing she did was to start shouting asking why I’m out this late in the first place.
She then started reminding me of who I am in Christ- reminding me of my identity and who God called me to be! At this point I didn’t want to hear it I just wanted to come and rescue me from this situation! She then told me to go and speak to the man and ask him where he was getting off and he said Stratford! I was so happy and in that moment I felt hopeful again because I felt safe! Then I went and I sat down but the moment I saw the boy looking at me through the window I went into panic mode again and called my mum.
Then I decided to look away and close my eyes and simply be still. In the midst of all this chaos I forgot who my God is and how much greater He is than any man! Peace came rushing in like a flood when I took my eyes off him and looked to my God the Creator Of Heaven and Earth! If God be for me who can be against me?
Man can only provide us with a false sense of security because the truth of the matter is the boy could have still rushed past the man and attacked me. My mum could not actually protect me. But God sent his angels to stand as a wall to my defence and a hedge of protection around me and eventually when I looked back the boy had gone!
So why the I give fear such power over me? Why was I serving it as my master? Why was I letting it control and paralyse me?
I gave it my attention and anything you give you give your attention eventually becomes your lord and master...
“Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
[Ps. 110:1.]”
Hebrews 12:2 AMPC