The Thief of Comparison
Recently I have been feeling so inadequate in comparison to the ones around me and at times I wallow so much in this it gets overwhelming and everything gets so dark really quickly!
I took my eyes off the race that has been set before me and I decided to pay more attention to other peoples’.
I took my eyes off the One Who is the anchor of my faith, the One Who constantly cheers me on and I began to focus on the one who only sings lies, deception and despair over my soul!
I took my eyes off everything He has done, is doing and will do and looked at everything He is doing in everyone else’s life!
Sometimes I find it really hard to master the art of living a balanced life and I tend to live in the extremes! For example, for someone I love to not feel like I do not support them or to fight against every iota of jealousy or envy in me I will neglect the baby God has given me!
There is a fine line between being a martyr and self-sabotage!
I am learning that when I feel jealous or envious I need to admit this to God and be honest with Him and ask Him to help me live free from it.
‘Anything we hide has power over us, so bringing things into the light not exposes them but weakens their power over us.’ Joyce Meyer
Also wisdom is required in order to be and do everything God needs me to be and do and be. I need to be so secure in that, that I am able to rejoice with others when they succeed and also know how much I can take on and get myself involved in!
At the beginning of the year, I was discussing my goals for the year with my mentor and he said to me that I can’t run far if I am carrying a lot and that I need to master the art of travelling light so I can run far! I took on too much too quickly because I am a sucker for pleasing people! I hate disappointing people because I hate when people disappoint me. So at the expense of my own well-being I can say ‘yes’ when everything in me is saying no!
Being a masters’ student is a completely different ballgame from being an undergraduate! Alongside, full-time ministry, serving under different ministries and working part-time is not easy at all! And I can openly say I have been struggling and it has not helped when I have shut out God the only One Who can truly help me. Consequently, this has only led to discouragement, jealousy, strife, resentment and even depression!
Thank God because He has never given up on me and is always drawing me to that place of intimacy with Him. There is always a physical ache in my chest when I’m not in communication with Him! The journey to emotional stability in and with Him has not been easy but I have decided to commit myself whole-heartedly to the process! Yes, sometimes I still feel inadequate and sometimes I get jealous when I compare myself to others. I have to quickly remind myself of who I am in God! I have to shift my focus very quickly back to the One Who is my standard and Who leads me in the way of righteousness and shows me my true reflection!
But this only happens when I am in His Word, when I am consistently meditating on what He says about me! I have decided that His Word is my Truth and anything that is a contradiction to what He says I am not about it!
So what are you going to decide to focus on today?